Always wear clean underwear

Today I had to go to the hospital for my usual pre-chemo blood work and chat with the doctor. Before heading out this morning, I took a quick shower and even ironed a shirt (for easy access to my iPod cable, I usually where a shirt that buttons in the front. For some reason all my shirts that button in the front are usually wrinkled - which I guess is why I never wear them).

Anyway, as I was getting ready, I couldn't find my favorite underwear, or my second favorite underwear. I was running last, so I ended up grabbing a pair that I usually don't wear - for two reasons. One, they are bit too tight where it counts, and two, at some point they got washed with something red, so instead of tighty whities they are tighty pinkies. I figured, "not to cool, but who cares?" I pulled my tighty pinkies on, finished getting dressed and headed out the door.

The nurses are still striking, so I had a long wait at the hospital. No big deal, because I remembered my book. When I finally had my blood work done and met with the doctor, I was kind of proud that I set a new personal best for low white blood count. I joked with the doctor about this, but when I realized he was considering delaying my chemo, I stopped smiling pretty quick. I just want to get this over with. Luckily the doctor decided that if I got a Neupogen shot today, then my blood count would be good to go by Friday.

After our chat, the doctor sent me out to a nurse to get the injection. I was pretty happy the nurse was going to do it, because after the blue track-mark I left last time, I'm a bit gun shy about jabbing myself in the stomach. So I walk up to the nurse, who I have seen many times before, and I say, "So I guess you have to jab me." And she says, "Yep" with a smile. And then she says, "Drop your pants!"

"My pants?" I say. She tells that they usually do it in the thigh. I tell her that I usually do it in the stomach. She smiles and says she'll jab me anywhere I prefer. I say I prefer the stomach, and as I sit down I can feel my tighty pinkies pinching where they shouldn't.

The nurse tried three times to find enough fat on my stomach to poke and then she gave up. She said she had no idea how I ever got a needle in my stomach being as skinny as I am. I said I didn't know there was an alternative. She said there was, and then she made me drop my pants.

I'm throwing those friggin tighty pinkies away!